< Yeah. I realized it in the middle of a conversation with her, and... Well, you know how I can get when I'm put on the spot. >
[They look away as they reply, ticking growing slower and softer.]
< Maybe I relied too much on other people not being able to understand me... >
[No. Nevermind that. They can examine that when they're not in the middle of passing information along.]
< Anyways, there was no getting around it. I was pretty careful about what I said after, though. And she doesn't know we've been to their main facility either. >
Well, on the plus side... as things are, there's no real reason to go after us for knowing who she is. Not like she's spilled much herself, so I guess this explains why she never went into much detail about her life back home, too.
[he retreats into his room to go settle on the edge of the bed, exhaling... dante sure gave him a good scare for a second there, but the adrenaline from that is beginning to bleed off.]
I haven't said too much about our work either. As long as we keep being careful about that, we oughta be fine.
[She doesn't seem like a bad person at all--no worse than anyone else in the City, anyway. Hell, better than plenty of people they've come across.]
< She knows we deal with Distortions. I figured that was safe, given the company's pretty public about it. >
< ...You know, I feel like it's my duty to try and keep asking her something about it--to get more info so I won't get scolded for coming back empty handed--but... I wonder if I should. It feels strange. >
[Trying to pull information out of her all of a sudden when they've been getting along with her just fine as just Malkuth up until now, they mean. They wonder if Gregor feels the same way.]
Yeah, it really does, huh...? But if she was working for a Wing like that, she knows how to keep her mouth shut, especially if we're not handing over some info in turn.
[there's always the give and take, when it comes to these things. you never want to only have one or the other.
besides...]
Maybe they'd scold us for coming back without getting details out of her, sure, but the way things are going here? They're just gonna have to settle for getting us back at all. This place killed you, Manager Bud.
[and even knowing the company won't go easy on them, even knowing they won't find any sympathy for their experiences-- he bristles at the idea of dante making it out of all this only to be criticized for it.]
< Hey, at least I'm not the only one out of all of us who hasn't now, right? It's like joining the club in a way. >
[As if it isn't one of the things that's been bothering them the whole time, left to smolder just beneath the surface when they think about it long enough, or worry over what it means for them if they make it back with this soul still inside.
They sigh and lean back, sitting in the air with a hand to their head, the other resting in their lap]
< I get what you mean, though. It always feels as if something new and horrible is around the corner here, doesn't it? Even if that's something we're used to, too. >
It does, yeah, but... it still almost feels safer than the City in a way too, eh? Been a few months now and I've only died once! That's gotta be a record.
[once that he knows of... but he is actively not thinking about that possibility right now, just trying to steer away from getting too deep into it.]
It's fixing this corruption business that's gonna be the real sticking point, there. Especially when it's even worked on you.
[Their ticking continues on even after the word is finished, and after a glance down, they adjust their coat to try and hide the way their tail curls next to their leg.]
< Guess having a whole other soul put inside you is a bit different than dealing with something like Pallidification, huh? Go figure. >
[They wonder if all this will remain even after that soul is gone.]
And different from... well, I'm pretty sure even if I did take my arm off and let it regrow, it'd just be the same thing all over again. War of attrition and all.
[he wonders the same. are they just going to be like this-- forever? even if they get home, will they be unable to get the souls out or the changes to revert?]
I've-- been wondering, a little. About the soul thing. Whether we ought to find out if we can work with 'em more, if we're going to be stuck in the same body anyway.
< A lot of people have said it's a good idea, actually. And... I've found it to be kind of helpful too, even if I can't agree to everything it wants for obvious reasons. >
[They know Gregor's already seen it in them: how hard it is for them to keep from lashing out when someone insults them these days. Their change in diet as well, though thankfully he didn't seem to have any problem with that (unlike they had when they'd first discovered it for themself).]
< Granted, I've just been talking to it when it wants something and no one else is around. >
[And they don't know if it actually helps so much as they like to think it does.]
Must be a little easier to talk to a ghost... thing than a plant.
[not historically great conversationists, plants.]
... but I think mine helped me out, when I was-- you know. [no explanation needed, he's sure.] I think I sort of swapped off with it? Can't remember it in a lot of detail, but I'm pretty sure it happened.
< Ah, no, "swapping" isn't exactly what's happening in that case, is it? It was working with you and trying to help out instead of trying to replace you. >
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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< Yeah. I realized it in the middle of a conversation with her, and... Well, you know how I can get when I'm put on the spot. >
[They look away as they reply, ticking growing slower and softer.]
< Maybe I relied too much on other people not being able to understand me... >
[No. Nevermind that. They can examine that when they're not in the middle of passing information along.]
< Anyways, there was no getting around it. I was pretty careful about what I said after, though. And she doesn't know we've been to their main facility either. >
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[he retreats into his room to go settle on the edge of the bed, exhaling... dante sure gave him a good scare for a second there, but the adrenaline from that is beginning to bleed off.]
I haven't said too much about our work either. As long as we keep being careful about that, we oughta be fine.
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[She doesn't seem like a bad person at all--no worse than anyone else in the City, anyway. Hell, better than plenty of people they've come across.]
< She knows we deal with Distortions. I figured that was safe, given the company's pretty public about it. >
< ...You know, I feel like it's my duty to try and keep asking her something about it--to get more info so I won't get scolded for coming back empty handed--but... I wonder if I should. It feels strange. >
[Trying to pull information out of her all of a sudden when they've been getting along with her just fine as just Malkuth up until now, they mean. They wonder if Gregor feels the same way.]
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[there's always the give and take, when it comes to these things. you never want to only have one or the other.
besides...]
Maybe they'd scold us for coming back without getting details out of her, sure, but the way things are going here? They're just gonna have to settle for getting us back at all. This place killed you, Manager Bud.
[and even knowing the company won't go easy on them, even knowing they won't find any sympathy for their experiences-- he bristles at the idea of dante making it out of all this only to be criticized for it.]
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[As if it isn't one of the things that's been bothering them the whole time, left to smolder just beneath the surface when they think about it long enough, or worry over what it means for them if they make it back with this soul still inside.
They sigh and lean back, sitting in the air with a hand to their head, the other resting in their lap]
< I get what you mean, though. It always feels as if something new and horrible is around the corner here, doesn't it? Even if that's something we're used to, too. >
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[once that he knows of... but he is actively not thinking about that possibility right now, just trying to steer away from getting too deep into it.]
It's fixing this corruption business that's gonna be the real sticking point, there. Especially when it's even worked on you.
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[Their ticking continues on even after the word is finished, and after a glance down, they adjust their coat to try and hide the way their tail curls next to their leg.]
< Guess having a whole other soul put inside you is a bit different than dealing with something like Pallidification, huh? Go figure. >
[They wonder if all this will remain even after that soul is gone.]
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[he wonders the same. are they just going to be like this-- forever? even if they get home, will they be unable to get the souls out or the changes to revert?]
I've-- been wondering, a little. About the soul thing. Whether we ought to find out if we can work with 'em more, if we're going to be stuck in the same body anyway.
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[They know Gregor's already seen it in them: how hard it is for them to keep from lashing out when someone insults them these days. Their change in diet as well, though thankfully he didn't seem to have any problem with that (unlike they had when they'd first discovered it for themself).]
< Granted, I've just been talking to it when it wants something and no one else is around. >
[And they don't know if it actually helps so much as they like to think it does.]
< So I'm open to other suggestions. >
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[not historically great conversationists, plants.]
... but I think mine helped me out, when I was-- you know. [no explanation needed, he's sure.] I think I sort of swapped off with it? Can't remember it in a lot of detail, but I'm pretty sure it happened.
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[A pause, then they shake their head.]
< Ah, no, "swapping" isn't exactly what's happening in that case, is it? It was working with you and trying to help out instead of trying to replace you. >
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[that's as much detail as he wants to get into about the situation.]
And then I wasn't.
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< Don't worry, I'm not planning to ask about that in particular. Just trying to figure out what your Natural Soul was doing is all. >
[They hum thoughtfully to themself. It comes out as a slow, rhythmic string of ticking.]
< Something kinda similar happened to me not long after I got here. It was more forceful about it though. >
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[the syntrofos would make it pretty easy, after all.]
What was it like with you?
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< So it did something. It took over my body while I was knocked out, shifted, and went on a feeding frenzy. Luckily, no one died. >