horizontal again i'm sorry this man is really splayed out on the ground looking at the ceiling. his emotions are still in that tight little box bundle, but the strongest one that leaks through is this sense of being lost.]
I—
[there is a pause, and then a flash of violence, as if being relived. he blinks in response to the emotion, as if processing it as well but]
[his own emotions have a reflexive wariness to them, after that flash of violence, but otherwise... it's pretty mixed feelings. a little hard to pick specific ones out.]
I would agree, but I don't think I'm in the state to be anyone's ally at the moment. Listening to my theories or giving too much credence to my opinion could lead you all down a bad path.
On the night of the murder, I decided I wanted to see Dahut's heart. After everyone passed out around us, I felt consumed with the idea of dissecting him to see what modifications he made on his body.
I am trying to parse why I felt that way, but I know it was me. I know I chose it.
...influences can be pretty strong that way. I've felt 'em before. Some things-- when they overtake you, you just don't even know it, even if it's obvious to everyone else that something's wrong with you. It feels like it's your own idea, and your own desire.
[but, well.]
You're clearly still more or less yourself if it took them so long to figure you out, so it's not the same sorta thing we're used to, but. It's all that talk about the nanites, y'know?
but he's contemplative, clearly letting the gears turn in his head.]
Presume that I am unable to look at myself clearly, even though I know in my head that I chose to do what I did.
In which case, in a thought experiment, I already distrusted the nanites from early on. Even if it is not that, it is something that can make logic break down even in the most straightforward people. [he's talking about himself] That requires caution.
Caution or power, but... if something brute forced through your personality, I don't think it would've taken so long to figure out. We're literally sharing our thoughts and feelings, and it still took people hours, so that's... not encouraging.
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well scien is
horizontal again i'm sorry this man is really splayed out on the ground looking at the ceiling. his emotions are still in that tight little box bundle, but the strongest one that leaks through is this sense of being lost.]
I—
[there is a pause, and then a flash of violence, as if being relived. he blinks in response to the emotion, as if processing it as well but]
... I did it.
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[his own emotions have a reflexive wariness to them, after that flash of violence, but otherwise... it's pretty mixed feelings. a little hard to pick specific ones out.]
So what the hell is going on, then?
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I'm trying to discern that myself.
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[it's not teasing. more an attempt to keep things sort of light, though it... may or may not be a good effort.]<
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[so why is he
warning them?]
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[it wouldn't be that easy, either, but still.]
If I'm gonna be entrusting some other version of you with Yuri, I might as well hear out this one.
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But my own logic doesn't make sense to me anymore.
And I choose logic above all else.
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[different perspectives, and all. or if he's just lost his mind, they ought to at least be able to tell that, too.]
Guess I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't curious, y'know?
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On the night of the murder, I decided I wanted to see Dahut's heart. After everyone passed out around us, I felt consumed with the idea of dissecting him to see what modifications he made on his body.
I am trying to parse why I felt that way, but I know it was me. I know I chose it.
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[the ripple of surprise in his emotions is-- not that strong, honestly, coming alongside a brief thought. 'yeah, definitely sounds like corrosion.']
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[and there is a bubble of frustration there]
But it is what I have. It's what I'll give to you, and trust you all to parse it.
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[oh my god will they try. gregor's not the ideas guy, though.]
...you're sure it felt like it was all you?
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[but, well.]
You're clearly still more or less yourself if it took them so long to figure you out, so it's not the same sorta thing we're used to, but. It's all that talk about the nanites, y'know?
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the word lingers in his head: Corrosion.
but he's contemplative, clearly letting the gears turn in his head.]
Presume that I am unable to look at myself clearly, even though I know in my head that I chose to do what I did.
In which case, in a thought experiment, I already distrusted the nanites from early on. Even if it is not that, it is something that can make logic break down even in the most straightforward people. [he's talking about himself] That requires caution.
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[scien is more obviously a villain and willing to account for his bullshit, at least]
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[gregor.]
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[but he's clearly not talking about himself]
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[it's been a week. not that he's suspicious of others as a default, but you know, this is just life.
weird as hell to go through this whole trial, man.]
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I truly can't emphasize how one of the most grating things all trial was to endure people thinking Dahut was a 15 year old baker.
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[he's not the smartest man here but damn.]
Don't know why anyone thinks a 15 year old would necessarily be helpless or something anyway, even if he was.
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But this is the group you'll be stuck with for the foreseeable future.
[a
twisted kind of amusement help]
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they're not so bad, though.]
Ah, they're just not what I'm used to. That's all.
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there is a resurgence of that odd feeling of gratitude.]
Well, do your best with them. I believe it safer for everyone if I die sooner than later, so I get to escape it all soon.
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