[the files are probably the most likely to be relevant right now, right? if it were something the doctor needed to reference, it would probably be out, not still in the drawers.
so he passes those up, deciding to skim the files instead.]
[ you pick up a particularly thick file, because if anything you're a nosy child. you open it, and you see charts upon charts. it's graphs and it's blood tests and it's lines and it's circles, numbers and rows of data that make your head spin.
you see words, too, but you can't entirely comprehend them. they're some sort of foreign language. german, maybe?
but you can at least parse out one thing.
shoma enda.
so...was your doctor really stupid enough to leave your file out in the open? that's kind of impressively bad. but it's not like you have the means to read it yet. do you?
[the way one of the most dissonant things in here is going to be looking back on it and going 'wait why couldn't i read german'. help.
he squints at this file, tries to parse anything else out of it-- there has to be something. anything useful. if they won't say anything they had to write it down, but of course it can't be that easy.
if that doesn't help, then a quick check to see if the other files are like this. if they're unreadable, let's check the drawers.]
everything seems to be written in german, yeah. you're smart, but you still only really know japanese. but you get the feeling this file is important. you also get the feeling that since they carelessly left it out, you could just take it.
maybe you're overconfident, but that feeling is going to carry you past being scared.
the other files are in fact like this. the drawers appear to have a few things. medical supplies for one. flash drives. a lock box. and, helpfully, a german dictionary. wait, why is that there? couldn't you just use a translator app? ]
[okay, well, he's super going to get caught if he takes too much. a file though? no, you totally never came in with a file, i haven't seen it. a file missing along with any of the drives later? probably, uh, bad.
literally why the dictionary though. no time to look anything up, but--
he'll stash the file away. we're committing theft. then he's going to follow that overconfidence right into 'yeah, i can totally get away with just flipping through this dictionary and then blaming it on being bored and wanting to read something if i get caught'. so.]
[if there were any words that stood out from the headers of that report... looking those up first, but otherwise, honestly just picking somewhere at random and slipping through.]
[ somehow, yes, you manage to sneak out of the office with this file.
and you book it. the world around you blurs until you come across your house and you run inside, shutting the door behind you. nobody was chasing you. in fact, you managed to get away with this confidential file.
now that you're in the privacy of your own house, you feel a little safer. what's your next step? ]
[well the first next step is definitely just, like, breathing a little because phew.
but after that-- it's safer here, and there's not limited time, so it should be easier to try to look up translations for this file and find out what's going on.]
[ it is, in fact, safer here. and it's empty. you have a lot of mixed feelings about this house when you're alone (which is often) but for now you find yourself settling under the kotatsu and staring at this file. you have brains and you have the internet. you can use a translator app for this, can't you?
as you start to read though, you feel...different. your bones ache. you're tired. there's a sinking feeling in your chest that you've just learned to live with. it's a heaviness than seems to cling to you like a second skin. ]
The subject has been led to believe that there are special genetic abnormalities in his DNA. Subject has been coerced into starting gene therapy via genome editing to save his own life.
All vitals are healthy. Progress of the editing process continues steadily. Subject's response to the medicine provided has shown improvements over the last few weeks.
[ the data in this file goes back for several months, perhaps even almost a year. it's charts and blood tests and samples of heart reading and even skin samples. it's information about a genetic code being rewritten, and the way the body has stood up to the test of time. there are failures recorded here, too, of when the body has fallen ill or started to reject the genome editing. but there are successes across the board.
a cold feeling of anger and anguish seem to wash over you the more you read, slowly coming to realize the truth.
there was never anything wrong with you. and this institute isn't interesting in helping you. you sort of always knew something was wrong, didn't you? and here it is, the proof.
you were never meant to be helped. you were only used for human experimentation.
...suddenly, you feel a little hopeless. you're not really sure what you were expecting to find. you already knew this. but it's a fact you have to live with for the rest of your life now. ]
The child's growth is heavily stunted. In fact, he has not significantly changed in appearance in over six years. He is currently eighteen years old.
Chikara Horadori couldn't completely stop the aging process, but he slowed it to a crawl. Slowing down the aging process wasn't only achieved by modifying the genomes of fertilized embryos. Chikara was able to rearrange the DNA of a fully matured adult.
The sole success of Chikara's experiments. The lone success of the research. He's cursed with eternal youth and life.
[ reality comes back into focus suddenly in your empty, lonely home.
....you are eighteen years old, and no one around you really knows how to cope with that. most people think you're weird or you're creepy or unsettling for never changing. you have no way of rewriting your own code. you're trapped in your own body with no escape. this wasn't something you wanted, but the results of someone else's greed. this is your eternal curse for long beyond the time you want to live.
the scene fades, the walls of the house falling away and soon it is just the rift they had been pulled in. but at least now it isn't just gregor. shoma's in this rift still, arms folded over his chest and frowning to himself having to rewitness all of that. hello. ]
[god. that was a lot, especially experiencing it in that way; it takes a moment for him to come out of it and shake it off, but fortunately, identities give him some experience in resurfacing from memories that don't really belong to him.
it's-- well, it leaves him unsettled, but all he says at first is:]
Does it? [ it's a tentative tone, light and like he's ready to talk his way out of it in case this conversation goes poorly. granted, considering who gregor is, he thinks maybe it can't be that awful. ]
[ okay. there is a slight laugh to that since it does ease the tension a little. ]
I don't know if it's better or worse to say we had a serial killing case we were working on back home, actually. [ don't just fucking say that. ] I think I've just been really good at hiding how well I'm handling all of this.
To be fair, solving the case was more Mizuki's job than mine. [ surprise! that is not his babysitter! that's his fwend...... ]
...some parts of the City felt a little familiar, but no offense, I think I'll stick with Tokyo. [ ... ] I never...it took me a few years to really learn what happened to my body. I knew about the experiments when I was 12 and stole that file, but I couldn't figure out everything back then. And when I confronted the director of the institute he just acted like nothing was wrong and threatened me if I told anybody. It became pretty obvious a few years later.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
so he passes those up, deciding to skim the files instead.]
no subject
you see words, too, but you can't entirely comprehend them. they're some sort of foreign language. german, maybe?
but you can at least parse out one thing.
shoma enda.
so...was your doctor really stupid enough to leave your file out in the open? that's kind of impressively bad. but it's not like you have the means to read it yet. do you?
what do you do next? ]
no subject
he squints at this file, tries to parse anything else out of it-- there has to be something. anything useful. if they won't say anything they had to write it down, but of course it can't be that easy.
if that doesn't help, then a quick check to see if the other files are like this. if they're unreadable, let's check the drawers.]
no subject
everything seems to be written in german, yeah. you're smart, but you still only really know japanese. but you get the feeling this file is important. you also get the feeling that since they carelessly left it out, you could just take it.
maybe you're overconfident, but that feeling is going to carry you past being scared.
the other files are in fact like this. the drawers appear to have a few things. medical supplies for one. flash drives. a lock box. and, helpfully, a german dictionary. wait, why is that there? couldn't you just use a translator app? ]
no subject
literally why the dictionary though. no time to look anything up, but--
he'll stash the file away. we're committing theft. then he's going to follow that overconfidence right into 'yeah, i can totally get away with just flipping through this dictionary and then blaming it on being bored and wanting to read something if i get caught'. so.]
no subject
you're a pretty fast reader, too. so. how much are you going to try and skim through before your doctor comes back? ]
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do you continue? or do you try to book it. ]
no subject
yeah. that's ominous. it's time to book it.]
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and where do you think you're going? ]
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but the destination doesn't really matter, as long as it's not here.]
no subject
and you book it. the world around you blurs until you come across your house and you run inside, shutting the door behind you. nobody was chasing you. in fact, you managed to get away with this confidential file.
now that you're in the privacy of your own house, you feel a little safer. what's your next step? ]
no subject
but after that-- it's safer here, and there's not limited time, so it should be easier to try to look up translations for this file and find out what's going on.]
no subject
as you start to read though, you feel...different. your bones ache. you're tired. there's a sinking feeling in your chest that you've just learned to live with. it's a heaviness than seems to cling to you like a second skin. ]
The subject has been led to believe that there are special genetic abnormalities in his DNA. Subject has been coerced into starting gene therapy via genome editing to save his own life.
All vitals are healthy. Progress of the editing process continues steadily. Subject's response to the medicine provided has shown improvements over the last few weeks.
[ the data in this file goes back for several months, perhaps even almost a year. it's charts and blood tests and samples of heart reading and even skin samples. it's information about a genetic code being rewritten, and the way the body has stood up to the test of time. there are failures recorded here, too, of when the body has fallen ill or started to reject the genome editing. but there are successes across the board.
a cold feeling of anger and anguish seem to wash over you the more you read, slowly coming to realize the truth.
there was never anything wrong with you. and this institute isn't interesting in helping you. you sort of always knew something was wrong, didn't you? and here it is, the proof.
you were never meant to be helped. you were only used for human experimentation.
do you continue reading? ]
no subject
he's already read this far. at this point he wants to know.]
no subject
...suddenly, you feel a little hopeless. you're not really sure what you were expecting to find. you already knew this. but it's a fact you have to live with for the rest of your life now. ]
The child's growth is heavily stunted. In fact, he has not significantly changed in appearance in over six years. He is currently eighteen years old.
Chikara Horadori couldn't completely stop the aging process, but he slowed it to a crawl. Slowing down the aging process wasn't only achieved by modifying the genomes of fertilized embryos. Chikara was able to rearrange the DNA of a fully matured adult.
The sole success of Chikara's experiments. The lone success of the research. He's cursed with eternal youth and life.
[ reality comes back into focus suddenly in your empty, lonely home.
....you are eighteen years old, and no one around you really knows how to cope with that. most people think you're weird or you're creepy or unsettling for never changing. you have no way of rewriting your own code. you're trapped in your own body with no escape. this wasn't something you wanted, but the results of someone else's greed. this is your eternal curse for long beyond the time you want to live.
the scene fades, the walls of the house falling away and soon it is just the rift they had been pulled in. but at least now it isn't just gregor. shoma's in this rift still, arms folded over his chest and frowning to himself having to rewitness all of that. hello. ]
no subject
[god. that was a lot, especially experiencing it in that way; it takes a moment for him to come out of it and shake it off, but fortunately, identities give him some experience in resurfacing from memories that don't really belong to him.
it's-- well, it leaves him unsettled, but all he says at first is:]
I-- guess that explains a couple things.
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no subject
[joking, probably. trying to lighten this up juuust a little. (but it is kind of true.)]
You've been... you know. Taking everything pretty well. Usually means you've had to do it before.
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I don't know if it's better or worse to say we had a serial killing case we were working on back home, actually. [ don't just fucking say that. ] I think I've just been really good at hiding how well I'm handling all of this.
no subject
[shoma can handle a serial killer, sure.]
...think you have been, though, yeah. I mostly just, uh-- thought you might be a little closer to a kid from the City.
no subject
...some parts of the City felt a little familiar, but no offense, I think I'll stick with Tokyo. [ ... ] I never...it took me a few years to really learn what happened to my body. I knew about the experiments when I was 12 and stole that file, but I couldn't figure out everything back then. And when I confronted the director of the institute he just acted like nothing was wrong and threatened me if I told anybody. It became pretty obvious a few years later.
no subject
[of course they are.
which feels like a good time for shoma to get a little context, through a memory of gregor's in turn. runs to 1:32:04.]
no subject
wow...same hat. ]
...they really are all like that.
no subject
[he mutters quietly, reaching up and rubbing at his face.]
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